More ranting ... hurrah?
As you may have guessed from the title, this post will probably be of a little more personal nature. That's not to say that it isn't reflective of other people's experiences, but it's definitely not indicative of how everyone thinks or feels. I'm perfectly fine with that, I just believe that putting these thoughts out there will let me ruminate on them a little more and perhaps also refine them as well.
It's probably not that hard to guess that part of the reason that it clicked for me just recently is due in part to me playing Path of Exile which is an online RPG, but also free-to-play. It wasn't necessarily anything in and of the game itself though, but rather how I felt about it. For example I'm writing this after having wasted a better part of the entire day playing the damned thing. It's addictive, I'll give it that. However, on the days I worked I didn't even touch the game.
And I didn't feel guilty about it one iota.
Isn't that a weird thing to say? I know it is, because it weirds me out to say it. And yet, I can freely admit that when I was playing World of Warcraft, I often felt guilty about not playing it. I had sunk the money for a six month subscription after I ended the free-to-play content (or rather when I got to level 20) and it wasn't like it ruined me financially or anything. However, when I didn't play WoW I often found myself passively wondering about whether I should have been, even if I honestly didn't want to.
I can only assume that this might mean that I'm insane. I wouldn't honestly be surprised. Still, it's something that bugged me throughout my subscription. It was never enough to actually drive me to play, but it was something that was always just there. It was an obligation where there should have been none, a duty made from a pleasure, something that needed to be done rather than wanting to be done.
I guess to put it in the simplest terms: the fact that I was paying for access made the game feel like a job.
I know that it's my ultimate goal in life to consider gaming a job, but not in the way that I meant it in the sentence above. To me there's just something, well, vulgar, about that notion. It's strange that until now I'd never been able to really put my finger on it, but now I have. It doesn't mean that I think everyone who does play WoW or any other subscription game is wrong, it just means that now I know why it isn't right for me.
Well, that's a real load off.