Monday, 8 April 2013

EA Seems Like they Want to Make April Fools out of Us All


You have no idea how much I'd love to stop talking about this. You really don't. It's like a boomerang or a chronic cold; you keep getting rid of it, getting past it, hoping that you won't have to deal with it again, and yet, there it is, always, every time. The day I don't have to talk about EA doing the most fucking stupid bullshit will probably be the day that said company no longer exists. Given their current track record, that day might not be as far off as people think it is, and the worst part is that sometimes I honestly don't know whether or not I'll be happy or not.

Then, I read statements like this. And I remember that I'll be happy, because it seems that EA comes from a universe where shit like this apparently makes sense and AND makes people happy to boot.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Where to begin with this even.

To beat the dead horse with the stick this is, again, about SimCity (what a fucking shocker). Basically, many people who were burned by the initial release of the game have complained that the online requirements were basically in place because EA wanted a way to keep the DRM going. Always online is a popular choice for an unpopular tool, so it seemed clear enough that this was the case as far as EA went.

Not so, says Frank Gibeau, the president of EA Labels, "DRM is a failed dead-end strategy; it's not a viable strategy for the gaming business." Holy hell, that actually seems to make sense and place gamers first in actually showing some trust and understanding. He continues by saying, "For the folks who have conspiracy theories about evil suits at EA forcing DRM down the throats of Maxis, that's not the case at all," again, perhaps a little flippant for my liking, but a step in the right direction right?

So, you, my audience, is certainly savvy enough to know what happens next.

"If you play an MMO, you don't demand an offline mode, you just don't. And in fact, SimCity started out and felt like an MMO more than anything else and it plays like an MMO,"

Oh Gibeau, you were doing ... alright ... up to that point. You could have at least saved some face. Then you go and say some stupid shit like "SimCity is obviously now an MMO!" and expect people to go, "Oh, okay, that makes sense," instead of, "Oh, okay, you're just full of shit." Guess which one people are leaning towards?

This is so blatantly a case of being finicky with wording that it hurts. You say you don't like DRM because DRM is a bad word in the game industry, to the gamers at least. If you say that you've put DRM in your game then people are already going to have a reason not to buy it. If, however, you say, "Well, it has to be this way because of the functionality," then maybe people will be more forgiving. See, here's the thing about that though, SIMCITY IS. NOT. A GODDAMN MMO! None of the other instalments have been MMOs, touting this one, with the limited interactivity placed on display so far, does not qualify it as an MMO, there, and I know that I've said this before but apparently it needs to be said again, was no fucking reason that you couldn't have put in an offline mode!

EA: do you actually expect people to believe this shit? Really actually expect them to? Is it any wonder that you seem to be on track to win the Worst Company in America award two years running, despite the fact that one of the other contestants was that cruise line that literally had a shitboat for a while?

I'm tired, and angry. Mostly the former, but still the latter. This isn't even the last post this week about people in the industry being idiots. God help me. I need a drink.

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